Field Dispatch

Germany's First Commissary Dispensary Is Open For Bidness

Live from Cell Block D, where the blunt rotation has outlasted two hunger strikes and a stabbing

METH VS. WEED — THE BOOF DU JOUR PSYCHOSIS TRIAL

The DEA said weed might be worse than meth. So we gave out both and kept score. For science.

“Daddy’s Lunchables Just Hit Different”

Child Trips Balls on Cartoon Bear Candy While Parents Play the Dumb Card

Free Flights for Felons: Heathrow Launches “Smuggle & Return” Program for Bud-Toting Tourists

UK Border Force Introduces Frequent Flier Program for Dumbasses With Dank in Their Duffle

“Weed for Warriors” Charity Game Canceled After Both Teams Forfeit Due to Lack of Veterans, Planning, or Basic Interest

Live from the most embarrassing Memorial Day cannabis event in the country

Sweet Leaf Relaunches With a Wellness Fair and a Vape Sponsor—What Could Go Wrong?

Inside Sweet Leaf’s desperate comeback tour—featuring bad dabs, fake reiki, and the same energy that got them raided the first time.

“God, Guns, and Delta-8” — Tennessee Lawmakers Still Think Weed Is a Gateway to Hell

Inside the God-fearing, vape-slinging backwoods logic keeping weed illegal in 2025

A BRUTAL, HONEST MAP OF WEED LAWS IN AMERICA

Where your blunt is a right, and a reason for a strip search

We Infiltrated a Doja Exclusive Drop and It Was Like Burning Man for Clout Chasers

No signage. No pricing. Just 8ths in designer jars and a crowd that looked like Hypebeast got jumped by the 710 Labs fan club.

BLOOM RECALL ZONE — Vape Oil, MCT, and a Whole Lotta Regret in Michigan

Turns Out “Live” Resin Doesn’t Mean You’ll Stay That Way

We Sat Down with Beard Bros and Accidentally Joined a Cult

We Didn’t Find Enlightenment—It Found Us, Lit, and Dabbed on a Flat Rock

YEEat Pray Love: Kanye Launches Penis-Shaped Edibles Modeled After His Cousin—Says It’s About “Generational Healing”

A velvet-draped launch party for genetically questionable edibles shaped like a family secret—and marketed like gospel.

Mike Waltz Leaves National Security Post for Short-Lived Role at Ember Valley

Reportedly Resigned Before First Meeting After Leaking Falsified Lab Results

I Tested My Weed in Five States and It Came Back as a Sleep Aid, a Stimulant, and a State Park

This Eighth Failed More Tests Than I Did in High School

THE PESCADERO PAYCHECK MASSACRE

They Promised Me Overtime, I Got Rat Shit and a Tent.

Seth Yakatan Is a Time-Traveler Who Cheated at Cannabis History (And Honestly, That Checks Out)

He didn’t cheat the game — he just played it a few centuries early.

We Sent a Ganjier to a Trap House: Here’s What Happened

Filed in a haze by your disoriented correspondent, live from somewhere between certified and certified fucked.

Salvia fueled Elon now auditing backwoods of the Ozarks

I am Muskaline! I see all timelines!

Systematically Assessed and Spiritually Lost: The MJ Unpacked Cannabis Cup Is an Idiocracy Trophy Ceremony for the Certified Delusional

Filed live from Atlantic City by your terp-scorched, eye-twitching Boof du Jour correspondent who just witnessed the SAP in action and may never recover.

Proper Cannabis Launches Valentine’s Delivery Service to Ensure Everyone Inserts Their Suppository the ‘Proper’ Way

Filed From the Frontlines of Rectal Wellness

Struggling Dispensaries Now Using OnlyFans to Boost Customer Loyalty Signups

You’d be shocked how many dudes will give us their email just to see my terp pearls bounce.

Terpli AI Virtual Budtender Has Existential Crisis After 4,000th Customer Asks for 'Your Highest THC, Bro'

“We're updating the model to just recommend GMO and say, ‘Hell yeah, bro.’ It's what the people want.”

Vans Warped Tour Returns, Fully Funded by Delta-8 Brands Looking to Get Kids Absolutely Ripped

Filed from the frontlines of America’s loudest minor felony — where pop-punk met THC-O and nobody passed the drug test.

Delta Extraction Quietly Builds Underground Tunnel to Streamline Cannabis Supply Chain

Have You Seen Our Tunnel? It’s Literally Cooler Down There. Like, Temperature-Wise.

I Went to a Cannabis Hiring Fair and Somehow Ended Up Regional Manager

Filed from California, where dreams go to get turned into vape carts and lawsuits

Donald Trump Joins Good Day Farm Board, Declares War on ‘Boof Prices,’ Unions, and Ugly Dispensary Owners

Filed from a bunker somewhere under Bentonville, Arkansas, where the kush is mid, the vibes are worse, and the C-suite just went full MAGA.

Mike Tyson Bites Off Customer’s Lip After Complaints That Tyson 2.0 Edible Ears Are ‘Weak AF’

Reporting Live from the Blood-Slicked Carpet of a Pop-Up Gone Wrong

How to Drive Away a Non-Stoner Partner Without Saying a Word

Because your passive-aggressive ass can’t just dump them

600 Pounds of Evidence ‘Missing’ from Police Lockup - Colorado High Again

Reporting live from the epicenter of a Cheech & Chong-level coverup

Hall of Flowers Doubles Down on Abusers: After Chris Brown Backlash - P. Diddy Tapped as Guest Speaker

This is Hall of Flowers 2025, where cannabis culture has officially OD’d on itself.

Have a Heart Announces New ‘Smash & Dash’ Delivery Service, Hires Kia Boys as Drivers

A Logistics Model so Unhinged it Somehow Makes DoorDash Look Like the Postal Service.