Terms & Conditions

Welcome to Boof du Jour. By accessing or using this website (the “Site”), you agree to comply with these Terms & Conditions (the “Terms”), which were assembled by a combination of a legally paranoid AI and someone who once got a cease-and-desist for roasting a cannabis gummy that tasted like urinal cake.
 

If you do not agree to these Terms, close your laptop, delete your cookies, and reconsider your career in cannabis.

You must be at least 18 years old (or the age of majority in your jurisdiction) to use this Site. If you are younger, please return to whatever Roblox weed simulator you crawled out of and do not attempt to interact with satire written for adults who’ve seen things.

This site is a satirical publication. The content is a mix of:

• Real people

• Real events

• Fabricated dialogue

• Absurdism

• Rage-typing

• Industry gossip turned into punchlines
   

We mock everyone: brands, founders, regulators, influencers, mascots, consultants, and ourselves.

If that offends you, we recommend a quick scroll through Leafly for emotional grounding.

Unless otherwise stated, all content on this Site is either:

• Original material owned by Boof du Jour

• Licensed appropriately

• Created using publicly available information, AI tools, or creative commons assets

• Or intentionally used under the doctrine of Fair Use for commentary, criticism, or parody.
   

Do not:

• Steal our writing

• Rip our memes

• Slap our articles into a pitch deck

• Sell knockoff merch based on our phrases (unless you want to be featured in the next article)
   

If you want to collaborate, license something, or advertise, just contact us. We’re surprisingly organized.

If you send us tips, stories, screenshots, logos, complaints, corrections, or a handwritten apology from your former CEO, you agree:

• We can use that submission however we want.

• We are not obligated to credit, respond, or be nice about it.

• We may publish, paraphrase, or parody it.

• You will not sue us for turning your email into a 4-panel Boof Illustrated cartoon.
   

If you submit something and don’t want it shared, say so clearly. Otherwise, it’s fair game.

You're allowed to:

• Read

• Laugh

• Send links to your group chat

• Complain privately
   

You're not allowed to:

• Copy or reproduce content without permission

• Try to pass our writing off as your own (we’ll know—it’s too good)

• Use bots to scrape our archive

• Report us to LinkedIn for “hostile behavior”

• Attempt to spiritually cleanse Boof from the internet

We are not liable for:

• Emotional damage caused by being named in an article

• Loss of funding after your investors read our breakdown of your brand

• Compliance violations you uncovered because we made you check your METRC tags

• Mental health episodes triggered by reading real quotes from your leadership team
   

This Site is provided “as is”, with no warranties, guarantees, or guarantees of guarantees. If you act on something you read here, that’s on you.

We occasionally link to external sites, most of which are either:

• Real brands we’re making fun of

• News sources used for reference

• Or pages we fully expect to be dead by the time you click them
   

We are not responsible for their content, privacy policies, cookies, or suspiciously expensive pre-rolls.

We reserve the right to:

• Block your IP

• Delete your comments

• Name and shame you

• Or do nothing at all
   

…if we feel you’re being abusive, idiotic, or trying to pitch us something called “Buddiez 420 Gummies” at 4AM.

These Terms & Conditions are governed by the applicable laws of the United States. By using this website, you consent to the jurisdiction and venue of competent courts within the United States for the resolution of any disputes arising out of or related to your use of the site, its content, or any associated services.

We may update these Terms at any time. Changes become effective the moment we publish them, or the moment we think of something funnier. You are encouraged to revisit this page annually, like a dental checkup, or a brand pivot to wellness.

Questions?
Complaints?
Legal threats typed in all caps?
 

Boof du Jour LLC
📫 boofdujour@wedontgiveafuck.com
📞 707-420-6969 (Please don’t call. This is satire.)