Exposés

Somewhere between “Easy Apply” and “We’ve decided to move forward with other candidates,” there is a place. A real place. A stupid place. A place so hostile to hope it smells faintly of burnt resumes and LinkedIn Premium desperation. Every cannabis job listing you see on LinkedIn, Brand Manager, VP of Culture, Head of Growth (Must Love Compliance), is not actually intended to hire a human being. The listing exists solely to be funneled, via fiber-optic lie, to a remote facili

CHICAGO — What was supposed to be a historic step forward for hemp-derived THC beverages quickly turned into a citywide hydration emergency after the United Center began selling THC-infused drinks and was forced to hand out an estimated 50,000 free beers to angry guests who claimed the drinks did absolutely nothing.

Arizona has officially launched its first statewide Best in Grass cannabis competition, allowing consumers to vote on weed quality across the state. Naturally, the ballots are already being recounted. Not because anything went wrong, just because this is Arizona, and the state physically cannot see a ballot without running it through at least four different agencies, two consultants, and one guy named Gary who “has concerns.”

In a move that briefly restored everyone’s faith in humanity, Illicit Gardens announced it was transitioning to a fully employee-owned company. No VC vampires. No private equity spreadsheet necromancers. Just workers owning the thing they actually show up to every day. For about twelve beautiful seconds, the cannabis industry stood still. LinkedIn wept. Consultants nodded solemnly. Someone used the phrase “stakeholder alignment” without irony.

According to three people who have sat in meetings with him since, a multi-state cannabis operator CEO recently returned from an ayahuasca retreat with less empathy, more confidence, and a brand-new way to explain why layoffs are actually healing.

In a bold legal maneuver straight out of the “Please Stop Looking at That” playbook, Trulieve is reportedly suing Ganja Leaks for $750,000 in defamation after videos surfaced showing mold in Trulieve grow facilities, allegedly filmed by a former employee who, crucially, did not invent the mold.

Fabuloso has officially entered the weed business. The reason? Market research. Specifically: every dispensary already smells like it. After decades of accidentally becoming the unofficial fragrance sponsor of retail cannabis, Fabuloso executives reportedly realized they weren’t entering a new industry, they were simply acknowledging one they already dominated aromatically.

Welcome to Utah, where cannabis is strictly medical, aggressively regulated, and somehow still tastes like someone dissolved a Jolly Rancher in a gas station slushy machine. Utah lawmakers will swear, hand on scripture, that vape pens here are for patients, not pleasure. Which is wild, because if these are medical devices, then NyQuil should come in Mango Gelato. So we ran a little test. Call it science. Call it journalism. Call it the Utah Vape Pen Pepsi Challenge™.