Field Dispatch

Oklahoma built a $4.9 million reference laboratory to confront lab shopping, potency inflation and contaminated products. The instruments are operational. Much of the independent accountability system is still completing accreditation.

LAS VEGAS — Attendees at this week's cannabis conference were reportedly stunned after realizing that approximately 87% of all cannabis executives arrived wearing the exact same outfit.

There’s a Slack channel called #springfield-seo-war-room that currently contains seven agencies, three freelancers, two AI writing tools, and a handful of “strategists” who speak exclusively in phrases like “content velocity” and “authority signals” but couldn’t point to a single page they’ve actually improved if you put a gun to their Patagonia vest.

After months of surveillance, leaked footage, and one extremely unstable budtender who claims he “saw the portal,” we can now confirm that Chelsea Mulligan is not entirely human. She is a retail-compliance cyborg sent from the year 2042 to prevent the extinction of real dispensaries. We repeat. She is not here by accident.

LAS VEGAS, NV. What began as a simple sit down with David Tran, founder of Dope Magazine and Fairchild Events, quickly spiraled into what investigators are now calling “a multi day endurance test disguised as journalism.”

LAS VEGAS - Tourists expecting neon excess at Planet 13 Las Vegas this weekend instead found something even more surreal: Dan Bilzerian behind the counter asking if they prefer sativa or “something chill.” Yes. That Dan.

New York finally enforced the billboard rules everyone pretended not to read. The signs came down quietly. Ownership panicked loudly. Marketing took the blame, as tradition demands.

Dutchie this week unveiled its long-awaited All-In-One POS / Marketing / E-commerce / Intelligence Platform, and for once the product actually did everything leadership promised. It transformed. During a rollout demo at a midsize dispensary, witnesses report that after a Monster Energy drink was accidentally poured across a tablet register, the system entered what Dutchie later described as “a hardware-forward innovation state.”