Cannabis Vendor Claims Their Platform Raises AOV, Refuses to Explain How

Somewhere in America right now, a cannabis marketing platform is confidently telling a dispensary owner they can increase average order value. Not by a little. Not by accident. By design. With science. With AI. With a proprietary system nobody is allowed to ask questions about.

The pitch deck is always beautiful.

Slide one says “Increase AOV.”

Slide two says “Advanced Retail Intelligence.”

Slide three is a graph going up and to the right.

After that, things get a little vague.

According to several vendors currently selling AOV optimization software to dispensaries across the country, their systems use a combination of “behavioral analytics,” “customer journey mapping,” and “AI-driven engagement triggers” to increase the amount of weed people buy.

When asked for clarification on what that actually means, the vendor simply replied:

“We help retailers maximize basket size.”

Industry analysts later confirmed this is the cannabis technology equivalent of saying absolutely nothing.

Dispensary operators across the country have reportedly signed contracts after watching a 12-minute demo that included several phrases like “predictive segmentation,” “dynamic retail ecosystems,” and “next-generation commerce enablement.”

When asked what the software actually does, one dispensary owner paused for a moment before answering.

“I think it sends texts.”

Sources familiar with the platform confirmed that the system does in fact send texts.

Usually they say something like:

“20% off today.”

The vendor insists this is only one small component of their larger ecosystem, which also includes automated emails, loyalty points, promotional triggers, and a dashboard with multiple graphs designed to make the store owner feel like something extremely advanced is happening.

During a recent industry conference demonstration, a company representative proudly explained that their system uses machine learning to analyze consumer purchasing behavior.

When pressed further on the technology, the rep clarified that the machine learning component is currently focused on determining which customers might respond best to messages like:

“Hey.”

“Deals today.”

And the extremely advanced:

“BOGO pre-rolls.”

Despite the confusion, vendors across the cannabis technology sector remain confident in their ability to increase AOV.

One platform executive explained the strategy clearly.

“The key to increasing average order value is creating a seamless retail ecosystem where customers feel empowered to explore more products.”

When asked what that looks like inside the store, he explained:

“They buy two things instead of one.”

At press time, the cannabis industry confirmed it is now home to approximately 4,700 different platforms that all claim they can increase average order value, which analysts say should result in the average dispensary purchase reaching $986 per customer by late 2027.

Customers entering dispensaries in the future will reportedly plan to buy a single eighth before leaving with three vapes, two grams of rosin, a mushroom gummy, a hoodie, and a receipt that looks like a CVS pharmacy scroll.

Industry vendors say this is exactly what their technology was designed to do.

How it works, however, remains confidential.