The Full Boof

In a move that legal experts are calling “technically impossible” and cannabis executives are calling “worth a shot,” Donald Trump announced today the creation of a brand-new immigration program specifically for cannabis license holders: the Greener Card™. Unlike the traditional Green Card, which requires paperwork, time, and a basic understanding of reality, the Greener Card fast-tracks licensed cannabis operators directly to Venezuela, where they are granted immediate ac

Wall Street is popping champagne. Hamilton Beach is popping circuit breakers. The appliance company just posted shockingly strong earnings, not because America rediscovered smoothies, but because the cannabis industry has once again entered its most sacred season: Annual Holiday SKU Destruction Month.

The cannabis sector rallied this week after Washington whispered the word “rescheduling” again, an event that reliably sends weed stocks sprinting into traffic like a neglected dog hearing keys jingle. Within hours, analysts were back on television explaining, earnestly, solemnly, with charts, that this time is different. Capital flooded in. Group chats lit up. Retail traders dusted off brokerage apps they swore they’d deleted in 2022. Somewhere, a junior analyst updated a Po

In a landmark transaction that will fundamentally change nothing except the font on the bag, Wyld has officially acquired Grön, creating the cannabis industry’s first fully interchangeable gummy ecosystem. The press release calls it “a major industry transaction. ”Budtenders call it “the moment my job officially became improv theater.”

This week, Vireo Growth announced it’s acquiring Eaze for $47 million, officially confirming two things: Weed delivery is “back,” according to executives with slides. Nothing in cannabis ever truly dies, it just gets recapitalized. If you felt a strange chill when you read the headline, that was the sound of a thousand former Eaze users checking their phones to make sure the app wasn’t already reinstalled.

Trump “Rescheduling” Cannabis: What This Actually Does (And Who It Screws Anyway)

Missouri’s cannabis scene looks like a pawn shop with a license. Licenses flipping, staff erased, logos changing faster than eighths on 4/20. Boof du Jour digs into how the state’s market went from garage band to corporate elevator music in five years flat.

California cut its cannabis excise tax from 19% to 15%, a supposed lifeline for a $4B market already on life support. Will this revive legal weed—or just delay the obituary?

Trulieve calls it “pruning to bloom.” The reality? Exiting California, Massachusetts, and Nevada while bragging about 725,000 loyalty members — and still ignoring the death of Lorna McMurrey. Our exposé uncovers regulator silence, financial spin, and a company pivoting straight into a mountain.

Canncestry.com™, the cannabis DNA test from Ancestry.com, just confirmed your $65 eighth is the same Blue Dream you smoked in 2012. Turns out genetic transparency isn’t good for business.

Trump mentioned weed. The agencies are still broken. And now the federal cannabis strategy is a four-way clusterfuck with no safe word. Rescheduling is the headline — but the chaos behind it is where the real story lives.

New York’s $1.5B cannabis market is now monitored by a login screen no one can access — thanks to vendor chaos, OCM delays, and the Track-and-Trace Grift Economy™.

Cannabis labs across the U.S. are inflating THC, hiding mold, and dodging regulators. Meanwhile, brands and MSOs play along to chase profits. We break down the financial rot—lab by lab, state by state.

The DEA’s mid-2025 cannabis report proves reform is a farce. Quotas stay. Licenses stall. Rescheduling is just theater. Boof breaks down the real playbook.

McKee Foods enters the THC arena with “Lil Debbie,” a Black cartoon reboot of their iconic snack cake brand—now selling infused brownies at gas stations. It’s not a rebrand. It’s weaponized nostalgia for stoners, with a side of corporate cringe.

Cresco just bailed on California. Again. Their $825M distro dream is now part of the California Exit Index — a growing graveyard of MSOs who thought capital beats culture. Here's why they failed, what it says about weed finance, and who’s next.

Oversupply, sales drops, and total desperation — Michigan’s cannabis market is falling apart. Some dispensaries are stuffing weed in ceiling tiles to hit quotas.

Germany’s weed rollout is what happens when bureaucrats get high on paperwork and paranoia. No dispensaries, no fun — just clubs, quotas, and confusion. We break down why Europe’s cannabis dream looks a lot like an American MSO’s bankruptcy hearing.

Trulieve just pledged $250K to Matt Gaetz if he can convince Trump to federally legalize weed. This is not satire. Well, not just.

TerrAscend just nuked its Michigan operations, screwing over workers and blaming the market. Boof du Jour breaks down the spin, the bullshit, and the brand's next doomed move.