The Full Boof

Donald Trump has reportedly secured a New York adult-use cannabis license and-within hours-filed a lawsuit against the U.S. federal government for not making weed federally legal. The lawsuit, filed before the ink on the license paperwork dried, alleges that the federal government’s continued prohibition of cannabis is “bad for business,” “extremely unfair,” and “honestly kind of embarrassing for a country this powerful.”

Fabuloso has officially entered the weed business. The reason? Market research. Specifically: every dispensary already smells like it. After decades of accidentally becoming the unofficial fragrance sponsor of retail cannabis, Fabuloso executives reportedly realized they weren’t entering a new industry, they were simply acknowledging one they already dominated aromatically.

COLUMBUS, OH - After years of insisting cannabis marketing resemble a hospital pamphlet written by a risk-averse insurance adjuster, Ohio regulators have officially announced that cannabis advertising may now look “recreational.”

In what experts are calling “the most honest cannabis branding of the decade,” Kash Patel has reportedly partnered with a cannabis edible company to launch a new line of gummies engineered to make your eyes look exactly like his. Unlike the traditional Green Card, which requires paperwork, time, and a basic understanding of reality, the Greener Card fast-tracks licensed cannabis operators directly to Venezuela, where they are granted immediate access to “unused, und

In a move that legal experts are calling “technically impossible” and cannabis executives are calling “worth a shot,” Donald Trump announced today the creation of a brand-new immigration program specifically for cannabis license holders: the Greener Card™. Unlike the traditional Green Card, which requires paperwork, time, and a basic understanding of reality, the Greener Card fast-tracks licensed cannabis operators directly to Venezuela, where they are granted immediate ac

In a landmark transaction that will fundamentally change nothing except the font on the bag, Wyld has officially acquired Grön, creating the cannabis industry’s first fully interchangeable gummy ecosystem. The press release calls it “a major industry transaction. ”Budtenders call it “the moment my job officially became improv theater.”

After a court ruled her firing unlawful, Shannon O’Brien was reinstated as CCC Chair — only to be suspended again on appeal. Massachusetts cannabis regulation has officially turned into compliance theater with billion-dollar stakes.

New York’s cannabis regulators admitted they’ve been measuring the school buffer wrong for three years — now 152 operators face shutdowns, a $15M fund skips existing stores, and compliance has devolved into spreadsheets, lawsuits, and Form 6399-FU.

A federal court just ruled New York’s “social equity” weed licenses unconstitutional. Turns out, excluding 49 states isn’t reform — it’s just illegal.

The Omaha Tribe legalized cannabis before Nebraska even picked a lane. They wrote the law, built the system, and started issuing licenses—proving that tribal sovereignty is faster than state bullshit.

Montana merged its weed and booze regulators. Now bar owners think they can sell joints, dispensaries are advertising bourbon, and no one knows who's actually in charge. This isn’t reform — it’s a licensing disaster dressed up as efficiency.

JEFFERSON CITY, MO  — In a groundbreaking move to confuse, entrap, and mildly inconvenience cannabis operators statewide, Missouri...

State regulators unveil bold new strategy to make legal weed just shitty enough to lose to the plug again. Welcome to “safety.” FOR...

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Receives Prestigious “Accidental Cannabis Hero” Award After Vetoing THC Ban He Clearly Didn’t Understand In a...

In a bold new commitment to scientific illiteracy, California regulators unveil a pesticide policy that would decertify testing labs...

If you’ve ever run craps out of a basement while high, congratulations—you’re now eligible for a Vegas weed casino license. LAS VEGAS, NV...

ATCC raids weed shops for not having licenses. Weed shops shocked to learn they needed one. BALTIMORE, MD —  In a bold show of...

State Officials Celebrate Historic Labor Win by Taking Credit and Leaving Early SALT LAKE CITY, UT —  In a stunning act of legal...

Missouri Accidentally Conducts Controlled Study on How to Kill a Cannabis Market Before It Starts Jefferson City, MO – In a bold...

Finally, a Dispensary That Feels Like Jury Duty HARRISBURG, PA — In a bold attempt to modernize cannabis sales using 1970s government...