The Full Boof

132 cannabis gummies. $400 in value. 869 grams on the police scale. A U.S. basketball player in Jakarta now faces life or death because of “Cop Math” — the global farce where a box of candy weighs more than human rights.

Eaze was once the “Uber of weed.” After bankruptcy and a fire sale, the brand has reappeared in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury. But the comeback feels less like a rebirth and more like a hospice wing for a unicorn that investors already buried.

Massachusetts just certified a ballot petition to nuke its $1.6B adult-use cannabis industry. If it makes the ballot, every dispensary, cultivator, and brand in the state could be gone overnight. Welcome to the dumbest economic experiment since prohibition.

Ohio Marijuana Card, a $200-a-visit medical card mill, left sensitive patient records exposed online. Our exposé uncovers Dropbox idiocy, leadership failures, and regulatory silence — a perfect case study in cannabis compliance theater and corporate weed rot.

Assured Testing Labs buried 7,000+ contaminated samples, got caught, paid $300K, and now they’re back — with biweekly check-ins and a PR audit team. Trust the system? Hell no. This isn’t oversight. It’s regulatory damage control.

BREZ’s founder was arrested at a nude beach—but insiders say it was part of the brand’s radical transparency offsite. Just another day in cannabis wellness.

TrapCam™ claims to protect cannabis businesses—by deleting security footage if cops show up. It’s not compliance. It’s obstruction, sold as innovation.

Cannabis execs just wrote a million-dollar check to Trump’s Super PAC—and called it “advocacy.” We track the donor list, political spin, and the stench of desperation.

After an ICE raid rocked Glass House Farms, CEO Kyle Kazan reportedly replaced undocumented labor with Oompa Loompas — literally. This satirical exposé unpacks California weed’s most deranged pivot yet, where cosplay, compliance, and corporate delusion collide.

Another fiscal year, another bullshit promise. Congress extends cannabis protections again—without real reform, without commitment, and without shame. Welcome to the Yearly Weed Divorce Clause.

New York’s latest cannabis recall proves one thing: the Office of Cannabis Management can’t manage shit. With pesticides in circulation and labs waving red flags weeks ago, regulators waited until the shelves were nearly empty to act.

Ron DeSantis just gutted Florida’s MMJ program—revoking cards from past drug offenders and calling it “safety.” We call it fascism, Florida-style.

Inside our completely unscientific investigation into the “CBD prevents binge drinking” claim — featuring bad ideas, worse execution, and...

In a bold new strategy to fight affordability, New Jersey lawmakers want to criminalize anyone who dares to skip the dispensary and buy...

The CCC is dead. The MSOs are thrilled. And Beacon Hill just legalized corporate fuckery in broad daylight. BOSTON —  In a state where...

Timber Cannabis , the Michigan-born dispensary brand that looks like a co-working space, just settled a $205,000 lawsuit for wage...

By Boof du Jour’s Investigative Desk (and black mold sample unit) Arizona’s cannabis testing system is broken. Not bureaucratic. Not...

By Boof du Jour Investigations Unit PORTLAND, OR —  In Oregon’s booming cannabis sector, where “compliance” means remembering to unlock...

By Boof du Jour Global Field Team SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA —  In a country where you still can’t legally buy a fucking vape with nicotine, a...

In the world’s most unnecessary health showdown, we put Bryan Johnson—tech millionaire, human lab rat, and walking Neutrogena ad—head-to-head with Chuck—a 34-year-old assistant manager at Enterprise Car Rental who eats gas station sushi and owns exactly one towel.