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The Full Boof


Breaking: All Cannabis LinkedIn Job Listings Secretly Rerouted to a Government-Grade Black Hole
Somewhere between “Easy Apply” and “We’ve decided to move forward with other candidates,” there is a place.
A real place.
A stupid place.
A place so hostile to hope it smells faintly of burnt resumes and LinkedIn Premium desperation.
Every cannabis job listing you see on LinkedIn, Brand Manager, VP of Culture, Head of Growth (Must Love Compliance), is not actually intended to hire a human being. The listing exists solely to be funneled, via fiber-optic lie, to a remote facili
5 days ago3 min read


United Center Begins Selling Hemp-Derived THC Drinks, Immediately Has to Give Out 50,000 Free Beers After Guests Report “Didn’t Feel Shit”
CHICAGO — What was supposed to be a historic step forward for hemp-derived THC beverages quickly turned into a citywide hydration emergency after the United Center began selling THC-infused drinks and was forced to hand out an estimated 50,000 free beers to angry guests who claimed the drinks did absolutely nothing.
7 days ago2 min read


Arizona Launches “Best in Grass” — Ballots Immediately Sent for Recount & Audit.
Arizona has officially launched its first statewide Best in Grass cannabis competition, allowing consumers to vote on weed quality across the state.
Naturally, the ballots are already being recounted.
Not because anything went wrong, just because this is Arizona, and the state physically cannot see a ballot without running it through at least four different agencies, two consultants, and one guy named Gary who “has concerns.”
Jan 272 min read


Illicit Makes Company 100% Employee-Owned, Employees Immediately Flip It for a Sack
In a move that briefly restored everyone’s faith in humanity, Illicit Gardens announced it was transitioning to a fully employee-owned company.
No VC vampires.
No private equity spreadsheet necromancers.
Just workers owning the thing they actually show up to every day.
For about twelve beautiful seconds, the cannabis industry stood still. LinkedIn wept. Consultants nodded solemnly. Someone used the phrase “stakeholder alignment” without irony.
Jan 232 min read


MSO CEO Goes to Ayahuasca Retreat to Become Better Person, Returns Somehow Worse
According to three people who have sat in meetings with him since, a multi-state cannabis operator CEO recently returned from an ayahuasca retreat with less empathy, more confidence, and a brand-new way to explain why layoffs are actually healing.
Jan 232 min read


Trulieve Sues Mold for Defamation, Accidentally Names Ganja Leaks Instead
In a bold legal maneuver straight out of the “Please Stop Looking at That” playbook, Trulieve is reportedly suing Ganja Leaks for $750,000 in defamation after videos surfaced showing mold in Trulieve grow facilities, allegedly filmed by a former employee who, crucially, did not invent the mold.
Jan 222 min read


Fabuloso Enters Cannabis, Cites “Pre-Existing Dispensary Scent Monopoly”
Fabuloso has officially entered the weed business. The reason? Market research. Specifically: every dispensary already smells like it. After decades of accidentally becoming the unofficial fragrance sponsor of retail cannabis, Fabuloso executives reportedly realized they weren’t entering a new industry, they were simply acknowledging one they already dominated aromatically.
Jan 222 min read


The Utah Vape Pen Pepsi Challenge: Doctors Confirm It’s All the Same Hot Dog Water
Welcome to Utah, where cannabis is strictly medical, aggressively regulated, and somehow still tastes like someone dissolved a Jolly Rancher in a gas station slushy machine.
Utah lawmakers will swear, hand on scripture, that vape pens here are for patients, not pleasure. Which is wild, because if these are medical devices, then NyQuil should come in Mango Gelato.
So we ran a little test. Call it science. Call it journalism. Call it the Utah Vape Pen Pepsi Challenge™.
Jan 202 min read


PAX Allegedly Rolled Out a Vape That Detects If You’re a “Weed Person” — and Shuts Off
According to sources who “definitely signed NDAs but are emotionally free,” Pax has been testing a new firmware update that uses behavioral analysis to determine whether you deserve to get high. If the device senses you might be a weed person, it simply… won't hit.
Jan 182 min read


America’s Longest Burn Finally Lit: STIIIZY Partners With Winston Light After Waiting 40 Years to Be Cool Again
This week, Winston Light announced a partnership with STIIIZY, the vape giant best known for selling millions of sleek pods to people who definitely say things like “nah I don’t really smoke flower.” The goal? Reinvigorate a brand that peaked when ashtrays were furniture and doctors were sponsored by tobacco companies.
Jan 122 min read


“We Care Where the Plant Came From”: Says Company That Fired Everyone Who Actually Smokes It
By the time the CEO finishes saying “legacy” for the fourth time, you already know how this story ends. Not with community. Not with respect. With HR cc’d and the people who actually built this industry quietly escorted out the back door.
Welcome to modern cannabis: where ownership speaks in hushed, reverent tones about where the plant came from while actively purging anyone who looks like they might’ve met it personally.
Jan 63 min read


Germany Legalizes Weed, Immediately Lets Bavaria Ruin the Vibes
Berlin did it. Germany legalized cannabis, shook hands with modernity, and briefly looked like it might join the rest of the developed world in treating adults like adults.
Then Bavaria cleared its throat.
Within weeks of legalization taking effect, Bavaria’s conservative leadership began publicly campaigning to roll it back, citing concerns about youth, morality, public health, social order, and whatever else you say when your entire political identity is screaming “nein” at
Jan 52 min read


MISSOURI RECIPROCITY: THE “YOU CARRY MY SHIT, I’LL CARRY YOURS” ECONOMIC SYSTEM
Missouri didn’t just legalize cannabis. It legalized shortcuts.
From day one, the state built a system where vertical integration dominates, cultivation, manufacturing, and retail bundled together under the same ownership umbrellas. On paper, it was supposed to create efficiency. In practice, it created a closed circuit where shelf space is decided long before a customer ever walks through the door.
Dec 20, 20254 min read


HIGH TIMES HOSTAGE SITUATION: RAW CEO EXPLODES AT ANY MENTION OF ‘BOOF DU JOUR’ AS STAFF ARE FORCED TO EAT PAPERS IN FRONT OF THE BOARD
By Boof du Jour - The Only Publication Josh Can’t Roll Up and Smoke The resurrection of High Times was supposed to be wholesome. A comeback story. A phoenix rising from 30 years of unpaid invoices and whatever that Reg A scam fever dream was supposed to be. Instead, the once-iconic brand has reportedly devolved into a workplace so unstable it makes Vice look like a Fortune 500 development camp. Sources inside the RAW-powered High Times reboot describe an atmosphere best su
Dec 13, 20253 min read


Hemp’s Last Stand: Congress Accidentally Nukes a Whole Industry Because They Don’t Know What the Hell a Cannabinoid Is
Congress didn’t tighten hemp rules — they accidentally carpet-bombed the entire industry. With one sloppy amendment, they killed Delta-8, THCA, minor cannabinoids, and most CBD products. Boof du Jour breaks down the federal panic attack that turned hemp into contraband overnight.
Nov 14, 20254 min read


Civil RICO for Dummies: How a Supreme Court Case Just Made Every CBD Brand a Crime Family
The Supreme Court just made the hemp industry’s worst nightmare come true: mislabeling “THC-Free” can now count as racketeering. Boof du Jour breaks down how a mislabeled bottle turned every CBD brand into a crime syndicate with better stationery.
Nov 4, 20253 min read


From Gas to Gratitude Journals: A Trap House Rebrand
Curio Wellness, Maryland’s corporate mindfulness brand, just bought Missouri’s loudest weed shops and is repainting the trap-house vibe into taupe. Boof du Jour covers the culture clash between real weed people and the PowerPoint prophets trying to fix what wasn’t broken.
Nov 3, 20253 min read


MoCann, Mo’ Problems: The Lawyer Who Built the Loopholes
Missouri’s cannabis industry didn’t just eat itself — it hired its own lawyer to cook the corpse. Meet Eric Walter, general counsel for the Missouri Cannabis Trade Association (MoCann Trade). The same guy who helped draft Missouri’s 2022 cannabis amendment and shaped the so-called “social equity” program is now the centerpiece of the state’s latest corruption circus — writing 22 of the contracts that regulators just called predatory and used to revoke licenses. You can’t spe
Oct 10, 20253 min read


Cop Math: How 132 Gummies Turn Into “Almost a Kilo” — and Maybe a Death Sentence
132 cannabis gummies. $400 in value. 869 grams on the police scale. A U.S. basketball player in Jakarta now faces life or death because of “Cop Math” — the global farce where a box of candy weighs more than human rights.
Oct 6, 20255 min read


Eaze 2.0: From Billion-Dollar Hype to Haight Street Hospice
Eaze was once the “Uber of weed.” After bankruptcy and a fire sale, the brand has reappeared in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury. But the comeback feels less like a rebirth and more like a hospice wing for a unicorn that investors already buried.
Sep 24, 20255 min read
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