“Banquet Salisbury Steak: Chef’s Signature RSO Drizzle”
- 3 minutes ago
- 1 min read
Because not every infused meal needs to involve saffron, microgreens, and a chef who calls himself an “alchemist.”
Ingredients
1 lonely-as-hell Banquet Salisbury Steak
1 syringe of Rick Simpson Oil (room temp, like your dignity)
Prep Instructions
Launch the Banquet tray into the microwave for whatever the box says—then add 45 more seconds because you never learn.
Pull it out when the mashed potatoes are molten lava but the steak is still semi-frozen in the middle. That’s the signature texture.
Without ceremony, finesse, or a single shred of shame, draw a thick, glossy zig-zag of RSO across the “steak.”
If it pools in the gravy lake, congratulations, you accidentally made a reduction.
Tasting Notes
Nose: burnt polypropylene and a whisper of 1970s cafeteria.
Flavor: beef-adjacent, diesel-forward, violently earthy undertones courtesy of the RSO.
Mouthfeel: like someone punished you with a meat sponge.
Chef’s Commentary
“This dish challenges the notion of ‘good food’ by refusing to be good or food.”
Recommended Pairing
A plastic fork that snaps halfway through the meal, emotionally mirroring you, and a Coors.