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The Full Boof


Michigan Accidentally Grants Transport License to Golden Retriever Wearing a Hoodie and Stolen Lanyard
Officials blamed the error on a “clerical oversight,” though witnesses say the dog made three successful deliveries, applied for a loan,...
Jun 182 min read


State Revokes Dispensary License After Learning Owner Thought ‘Compliance’ Was a Strain
After months of suspicious behavior and zero recordkeeping, regulators finally acted—moments after overhearing the owner ask if...
Jun 182 min read


Missouri Grants Transport License to Man with a Lime Scooter and a Trash Bag
Citing “low barriers to entry” and “vibes,” the state issued credentials to a man seen zipping down I-70 with flower, edibles, and what...
Jun 182 min read


Illinois Hosts Inaugural Cannabis Transport Equity Games — Winner Gets Token License and $5 Gas Card
Touted as a “celebration of opportunity,” the event featured twelve grueling events, zero follow-up support, and one lucky applicant...
Jun 183 min read


Florida Quietly Grants Distribution License to LLC Owned by Governor’s Golf Buddy
While hundreds wait in regulatory limbo, one well-timed backswing and a whisper on the 9th tee was all it took to move paperwork no one...
Jun 182 min read


New Regulation Requires All Cannabis Packaging to Be Approved by Children
To ensure maximum safety and zero adult appeal, state officials now require all weed packaging to pass a panel of fourth graders armed...
Jun 182 min read


Missouri Approves License Transfer from One White Guy to Another in Record Time
Licenses remain legally transferred. Morals remain legally missing. In a bold move that absolutely no one asked for but somehow everyone...
Jun 182 min read


FDA Grants Provisional “Oops All Beverages” License to Tilray Following $794M Loss and a Strong Hunch
After losing nearly a billion and pivoting for the seventh time this quarter, Tilray secures a federal hall pass to become the LaCroix of...
Jun 182 min read


Minnesota’s Cannabis Licensing Plan: A Beautiful Bureaucratic Disaster Masquerading as Progress
After months of community input, task forces, and well-catered meetings, Minnesota unveils a licensing process so convoluted it requires...
Jun 183 min read
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