Minnesota’s First City-Run Dispensary Runs Like DMV With Weed

Employees report receiving their first schedule via certified court summons.

ANOKA, MN - Minnesota officially entered a bold new era of cannabis retail this week after Anoka opened the state’s first city-run dispensary, immediately proving that when government does weed, it does it administratively.

Customers lined up early for the historic opening of Anoka Cannabis Co., where they were greeted by fluorescent lighting, laminated signage, and a ticket dispenser reading:

“Now Serving A-117.”

Early visitors described the experience as “smooth,” provided they had:

• Two forms of identification

• Proof of residency

• A completed Form 420-B (Recreational Intent Declaration)

• Patience

“It felt familiar,” said one customer, seated beneath a poster reading Compliance Is Community. “Like renewing my tabs. But slower.”

Budtenders Legally Required to Be There

Employees confirmed the operation is being managed with the same efficiency and warmth typically associated with property tax appeals.

“My schedule arrived in the mail,” said one budtender, holding up a manila envelope stamped with the city seal. “It said I was ‘hereby ordered to appear for retail duties beginning at 9:00 a.m.’”

Another staff member reported that PTO requests must be submitted in writing, reviewed by committee, and, if necessary, argued before a three-person panel.

“Lunch breaks require a motion and a second,” the employee added. “It’s very transparent.”

Checkout Process Streamlined to Six Steps

City officials insist the system is designed for fairness and public accountability.

To purchase cannabis, customers must:

1. Take a number

2. Wait for their number

3. Present ID

4. Confirm they are not operating heavy machinery

5. Initial acknowledgment that THC may cause “unexpected introspection”

6. Pay

“Efficiency is our priority,” said a city spokesperson, adjusting a stack of compliance binders. “We’ve reduced average wait times to under 47 minutes.”

When asked whether the process might discourage customers, the spokesperson clarified that civic engagement “sometimes requires endurance.”

Strain Names Reflect Municipal Pride

The dispensary’s menu features exclusive municipal strains including:

• Civic Hybrid

• Public Works OG

• Tax Base Indica

• Lake Effect Lite

Each product is packaged in understated, regulation-forward containers featuring the city crest and the phrase: “Responsibly Administered.”

THC percentages are labeled as “approximately sufficient.”

Profits to Fund Important Infrastructure

City leadership emphasized that cannabis revenues will directly support local initiatives, including:

• Repainting crosswalks

• Replacing one (1) park bench

• Updating the font on municipal letterhead

• 
  

“We believe cannabis can strengthen our community,” said the mayor. “Or at minimum, repair a pothole.”

Customer Experience Described as ‘Educational’

Before purchasing edibles, customers are invited to watch a brief 9-minute orientation video explaining what THC is, narrated by a retired city planner.

At the end of the video, viewers must answer a short quiz confirming they understand that “gummies are not a competition.”

One first-time buyer described the moment his number was called as “thrilling but procedural.”

“When they said ‘Now serving B-420,’ I felt seen,” he said.

Officials Remain Optimistic

Despite some light confusion around the ticket system and a minor delay caused by a stapler jam, city officials are calling the launch a success.

“We are proud to bring safe, regulated cannabis to Anoka,” said the city administrator.

“In an orderly fashion.”

At press time, employees were reportedly reviewing next week’s shift notifications, which sources confirm will be delivered via certified mail “for accountability.”

More updates expected once the receipt printer receives final approval from the Compliance Subcommittee.