The Full Boof

Donald Trump has reportedly secured a New York adult-use cannabis license and-within hours-filed a lawsuit against the U.S. federal government for not making weed federally legal. The lawsuit, filed before the ink on the license paperwork dried, alleges that the federal government’s continued prohibition of cannabis is “bad for business,” “extremely unfair,” and “honestly kind of embarrassing for a country this powerful.”

In a bold legal maneuver straight out of the “Please Stop Looking at That” playbook, Trulieve is reportedly suing Ganja Leaks for $750,000 in defamation after videos surfaced showing mold in Trulieve grow facilities, allegedly filmed by a former employee who, crucially, did not invent the mold.

Fabuloso has officially entered the weed business. The reason? Market research. Specifically: every dispensary already smells like it. After decades of accidentally becoming the unofficial fragrance sponsor of retail cannabis, Fabuloso executives reportedly realized they weren’t entering a new industry, they were simply acknowledging one they already dominated aromatically.

COLUMBUS, OH - After years of insisting cannabis marketing resemble a hospital pamphlet written by a risk-averse insurance adjuster, Ohio regulators have officially announced that cannabis advertising may now look “recreational.”

Welcome to Utah, where cannabis is strictly medical, aggressively regulated, and somehow still tastes like someone dissolved a Jolly Rancher in a gas station slushy machine. Utah lawmakers will swear, hand on scripture, that vape pens here are for patients, not pleasure. Which is wild, because if these are medical devices, then NyQuil should come in Mango Gelato. So we ran a little test. Call it science. Call it journalism. Call it the Utah Vape Pen Pepsi Challenge™.

In what experts are calling “the most honest cannabis branding of the decade,” Kash Patel has reportedly partnered with a cannabis edible company to launch a new line of gummies engineered to make your eyes look exactly like his. Unlike the traditional Green Card, which requires paperwork, time, and a basic understanding of reality, the Greener Card fast-tracks licensed cannabis operators directly to Venezuela, where they are granted immediate access to “unused, und

In a move that legal experts are calling “technically impossible” and cannabis executives are calling “worth a shot,” Donald Trump announced today the creation of a brand-new immigration program specifically for cannabis license holders: the Greener Card™. Unlike the traditional Green Card, which requires paperwork, time, and a basic understanding of reality, the Greener Card fast-tracks licensed cannabis operators directly to Venezuela, where they are granted immediate ac

In a landmark transaction that will fundamentally change nothing except the font on the bag, Wyld has officially acquired Grön, creating the cannabis industry’s first fully interchangeable gummy ecosystem. The press release calls it “a major industry transaction. ”Budtenders call it “the moment my job officially became improv theater.”

Berlin did it. Germany legalized cannabis, shook hands with modernity, and briefly looked like it might join the rest of the developed world in treating adults like adults. Then Bavaria cleared its throat. Within weeks of legalization taking effect, Bavaria’s conservative leadership began publicly campaigning to roll it back, citing concerns about youth, morality, public health, social order, and whatever else you say when your entire political identity is screaming “nein” at

This week, Vireo Growth announced it’s acquiring Eaze for $47 million, officially confirming two things: Weed delivery is “back,” according to executives with slides. Nothing in cannabis ever truly dies, it just gets recapitalized. If you felt a strange chill when you read the headline, that was the sound of a thousand former Eaze users checking their phones to make sure the app wasn’t already reinstalled.

Missouri didn’t just legalize cannabis. It legalized shortcuts. From day one, the state built a system where vertical integration dominates, cultivation, manufacturing, and retail bundled together under the same ownership umbrellas. On paper, it was supposed to create efficiency. In practice, it created a closed circuit where shelf space is decided long before a customer ever walks through the door.

We set out with noble intentions. Real journalism shit. Different dispensaries. Different brands. Different vibes. We wanted variety. Terps. Personality. Maybe, god forbid, weed that tastes like it was grown this decade. Instead, we accidentally speedran The Good Day Farm Cinematic Universe.

What began as a routine “solidarity outreach” event between UFCW Local 21 organizers and cannabis workers ended Tuesday afternoon in chaos, confusion, and a fully sanctioned strike - against the union itself - after several organizers reportedly tried weed for the first time and immediately realized they were the problem.

After a court ruled her firing unlawful, Shannon O’Brien was reinstated as CCC Chair — only to be suspended again on appeal. Massachusetts cannabis regulation has officially turned into compliance theater with billion-dollar stakes.

Massachusetts just certified a ballot petition to nuke its $1.6B adult-use cannabis industry. If it makes the ballot, every dispensary, cultivator, and brand in the state could be gone overnight. Welcome to the dumbest economic experiment since prohibition.

New York’s cannabis regulators admitted they’ve been measuring the school buffer wrong for three years — now 152 operators face shutdowns, a $15M fund skips existing stores, and compliance has devolved into spreadsheets, lawsuits, and Form 6399-FU.

Ohio Marijuana Card, a $200-a-visit medical card mill, left sensitive patient records exposed online. Our exposé uncovers Dropbox idiocy, leadership failures, and regulatory silence — a perfect case study in cannabis compliance theater and corporate weed rot.

Assured Testing Labs buried 7,000+ contaminated samples, got caught, paid $300K, and now they’re back — with biweekly check-ins and a PR audit team. Trust the system? Hell no. This isn’t oversight. It’s regulatory damage control.