Acreage CFO Invents New Accounting Genre: Financial Fan Fiction

A visionary in creative math, Acreage’s CFO bypasses traditional reporting in favor of vibes, ambition, and whatever QuickBooks lets you rename.

NEW YORK, NY — In a groundbreaking moment for corporate creativity—and possibly the next Netflix scam doc—Acreage Holdings' former CFO, Glen Leibowitz, has been accused by the SEC of inventing a new genre of cannabis accounting: round-trip cash laundering with bonus nonprofit cosplay.

According to the complaint, Leibowitz allegedly directed a $4.2 million “round-trip” cash transaction between Acreage and a nonprofit affiliate. The maneuver jacked up Acreage’s year-end cash balance by 15%, bringing it to a suspiciously healthy $30.7 million, just in time for the kind of year-end report that gets your stock juuuust above toilet paper.

"It Was a Loan Repayment. No Wait — a Loan. Fuck, Just Call It Both."

The SEC alleges that Leibowitz personally instructed staff to code the transaction as whatever made the books look prettier. One day it was a repayment, the next a short-term loan, and somewhere in there, it was probably considered a donation to "The Church of Financial Resurrection."

"No economic substance. No legitimate business purpose," said the SEC, sounding like they finally read a cannabis investor deck.

Reverse Uno Card on the Auditors

When internal accountants started asking questions, Glen reportedly reverse-engineered the entire thing, pretending the nonprofit was repaid in December 2019 — when, in fact, the cash was still sitting awkwardly between accounts like a hot blunt no one wants to claim.

Auditors were told, in effect:

“It’s all good. We talked to the nonprofit. They’re chill.”

Unfortunately for Acreage, the SEC doesn’t smoke mids and wasn’t nearly as “chill.”

The Cost of Fucking Around: $225,000

Acreage has agreed to pay a $225,000 civil penalty to settle the charges — a small price for getting caught fabricating their way into a quarterly earnings call.

Leibowitz’s lawyer, in a statement, said the CFO “acted properly in all respects,” which is legal code for: “We hope the judge also doesn’t understand GAAP.”

Boof Index Score – Acreage Holdings

• Transparency: -10/10

• Regulatory Compliance: 0/10

• Creative Accounting: 11/10

• Investor Confidence: 🤡

• Chance This Happens Again Somewhere Else: 100%

  
  

Final Analyst Commentary

In a sector already flooded with shady valuations, price compression, and license-farming shell corps, Acreage Holdings has finally made fraud cool again — with the nonprofit twist we didn’t see coming.

Round-trip revenue isn’t just a tactic anymore — it’s a fucking lifestyle. Cannabis finance has officially entered its Theranos era, and Acreage is holding the vape pen.

Boof du Jour recommends all future cannabis CFOs be required to wear ankle monitors, submit quarterly lie detector tests, and write “I will not gaslight the balance sheet” 1,000 times in cursive.

Til next scam.