ICE RAIDS GLASS HOUSE FARMS FOR CHILD LABOR, COMPANY SAYS “THEY WERE JUST SMALL BUDTENDERS”

SANTA BARBARA COUNTY, CA — There’s blood in the mids. And not just metaphorically. I'm standing in a half-harvested cannabis greenhouse owned by Glass House Farms, the once-glorified “green giant” of California weed, now cordoned off with yellow tape, body bags, and enough federal agents to restage a 1993 Waco siege.

Over 300 arrests. A worker dead. A weed empire laid bare.

And no one — least of all CEO Graham Farrar — seems to give a single fuck.

CHILD LABOR, CORPORATE ROT, AND ICE IN THE ROSES

This all started as a “compliance audit.” That’s what they’re calling it on the press release. What it looked like was ICE in full tactical gear pulling kids out of grow rows while a compliance manager live-streamed the raid on LinkedIn with the caption: “Operational inefficiencies, meet your match.”

Officials say Glass House was using undocumented workers — many underage — in direct violation of federal labor laws. And immigration laws. And probably several Geneva conventions.

But here’s the real kicker: it wasn’t California regulators who sounded the alarm. It wasn’t the cannabis industry watchdogs. It wasn’t even the fucking Department of Labor.

It was ICE.

Because apparently, a half-dozen dying children didn’t trigger concern — but a paperwork issue did.

“UNBEATABLE RECRUITING RATES” — HOW CARTELS CUT COSTS

Sources inside Glass House confirm the company recently inked a labor deal with what was described internally as a “flexible agricultural staffing collective” based out of Baja — which, in plain terms, was a cartel.

The pitch was simple: seasonal labor, minimal documentation, rock-bottom rates, and no questions asked. The cartel even offered a bundle deal — buy five minors, get the sixth in a Mylar bag.

“They came highly recommended,” said one procurement lead. “We assumed it was like Instacart for child labor. You pick the strain, they pick the kid.”

Farrar approved it himself, according to internal memos leaked to Boof. The contract was codenamed Operation Seedling. When warned that the average worker age was 14, he replied: “Perfect — smaller hands, better trim.”

The company stayed with the program even after complaints of missing teeth and nosebleeds. One HR rep raised flags after watching a child collapse in a nutrient vat. The response? A Slack emoji and a note to “hydrate the next shift.”

A WORKER DIED. THE CEO’S OUTDOOR DINNER CONTINUED.

While ICE dragged children into holding vans, a 34-year-old worker died on-site. Heat stroke, exhaustion, neglect — take your pick. The state won’t call it murder, but anyone with a conscience should.

Meanwhile, CEO Graham Farrar was spotted dining at a farm-to-table pop-up just four miles away. The entrée? Microgreens and opportunity. The drink pairing? Blood of the working class.

When asked for comment, Farrar claimed he was “shocked” to hear about the underage workers, though multiple sources confirmed he referred to them as “new growth hires” in weekly ops meetings.

He also described the death as “a tragic inconvenience,” and said the company would offer affected families a discount on “Glass House Homegrow Starter Kits.”

WHERE THE FUCK WAS CALIFORNIA?

Let’s be clear: this didn’t happen in a vacuum. It happened in the most over-regulated cannabis market in the country.

The California Department of Cannabis Control, whose job it is to prevent exactly this kind of abuse, claims they were “unaware of any violations” until ICE came in. That’s right — the Department tasked with preventing exploitation missed the literal child sweatshop.

Maybe they were too busy investigating a Humboldt farm for a typo on a batch label. Maybe they were still reviewing license renewals filed during the Obama administration. Maybe they were just high.

Either way, state compliance theater let this happen — and only ICE, yes ICE, had the gall to do something about it.

THE BRAND’S STILL ACTIVE. THE KIDS WEREN’T.

Glass House Farms is still licensed. Still operational. Still shipping eighths of greenhouse ass to unsuspecting soccer moms who think “sustainably grown” means grown by orphans under solar panels.

The company’s latest drop? Sunset Sherbert F2 — Now With Fewer Labor Violations.

In an Instagram post this morning, they announced:

“We believe in transparency, innovation, and sustainability.”Comments were turned off.

FINAL SCORE: MIDFLOWER, DEAD WORKERS, ZERO CONSEQUENCES

One man’s dead. Dozens of children detained. And the CEO still gets invited to cannabis investment panels to talk about “scaling ethically.”

The cannabis industry loves to preach equity and sustainability. But when it comes to labor, they’ll take whoever shows up — even if they come in a fucking trunk.

Glass House Farms is not just a bad actor. It’s a goddamn war crime in a childproof container.