New York Weedbros in Mourning as Prices Finally Reflect Reality

Wall Street delusion meets bodega weed reality as New York cannabis bros finally discover what supply and demand actually means.

MARKET CORRECTION ALERT — The “$65 Eighth” Era Is Dead. Long Live Wholesale Reality.

In a stunning development that shocked absolutely no one except the bros who built their business plans on $70 GMO and investor-funded LED signs, the New York cannabis market is finally undergoing its long-overdue correction.

Boof du Jour Ratings has officially downgraded the New York legal cannabis sector from “Silicon Valley Denial” to “Post-Fyre Festival Cleanup,” citing a sharp drop in consumer pricing and a dramatic rise in LinkedIn whining.

BOOF INDEX – NY MARKET PAIN METRICS:

• Flower prices: Down 5%

• Edibles: Down 14%

• Vape carts: Down 15%

• Gross delusion index (GDI): Still high

• Crybaby coalition meetings scheduled this month: 4

• “Sustainable margin” Zoom calls opened with a deep sigh: 87%

• Likelihood of investor exit disguised as “strategic pause”: 93%

  
  

THE MARKET HAS SPOKEN — AND IT SAID, “NAH, BRO.”

What we’re seeing is not a crash. It’s a correction. It’s a natural result of finally having competition, price transparency, and consumer choice—three things New York operators clearly never budgeted for.

One operator posted on social, “We can’t survive selling $30 eighths.”Cool story. The trap has been doing it since 2015 with no VC funding and a CashApp account.

The era of selling boof with branding and a bullshit origin story is over. You’re not a wellness brand. You’re a markup kiosk with a Spotify playlist.

“BUYERS COALITIONS” FORM — AKA “HOW TO KEEP SCAMMING WITHOUT SAYING IT”

In a last-ditch effort to protect their inflated pricing, several New York operators have announced “buyers groups” and “strategic pricing alliances.” In other words:

Let’s band together to keep weed expensive and act like it’s a noble cause.

This is the same logic used by oil cartels, gym owners, and tech founders who forgot revenue was a real number.

If your idea of market resilience is collusion dressed in Canva slides, you deserve exactly the margins you’re crying about.

EXECUTIVE COMMENTARY (REAL AND IMAGINED)

 “We’re seeing price deflation driven by unrealistic consumer expectations.” — anonymous CEO who raised $14M to sell infused mints no one asked for

 “Our brand is about value, not volume.” — operator with 9K units of unsold pre-rolls

 “This isn’t a bubble bursting. It’s a maturation.” — person Googling “how to file for dissolution in Delaware”

THE TRAP NEVER LEFT. YOU JUST IGNORED IT.

While you were busy hosting “thought leadership panels” and launching gummies with AI-generated flavor names, the black market was doing what it always does:Delivering product, ignoring the noise, and undercutting your $18 jars of moral superiority.

Let’s be honest—the trap has better inventory control and customer loyalty than half the POS systems you overpaid for.

THEATER OF THE ABSURD – CONFERENCES, PANELS, AND MORE DENIAL

If we had a dollar for every panel titled “Surviving the Downturn” featuring five dudes who used to charge $80 for moldy runtz, we could buy out the entire New York market.

Stop trying to manifest margins. You don’t need a business coach. You need a calculator and a refund from whoever sold you that neon sign.

BOOF DU JOUR RECOMMENDATION

Short New York cannabis optimism.Long off-market accountability.

If you hear the phrase “craft premium vertically-integrated” in the next pitch deck, run.

And if someone tries to charge you $65 for a three-year-old terp profile wrapped in Mylar and hubris?Tell them Boof du Jour sent you—with a fucking calculator.

Final Note to NY Operators:

The market isn’t punishing you. It’s just working.

You weren’t entrepreneurs. You were tax-sheltered product scalpers in fitted hats.

Now that prices reflect actual value?Welcome to capitalism, sweetheart. Hope you brought a Plan B.