FIELD DISPATCH: We Tried Shopping Around. Somehow Ended Up in the Same Mid-Ass Simulation Every Time.

By Boof du Jour

We set out with noble intentions. Real journalism shit. Different dispensaries. Different brands. Different vibes. We wanted variety. Terps. Personality. Maybe, god forbid, weed that tastes like it was grown this decade. Instead, we accidentally speedran The Good Day Farm Cinematic Universe.

Stop #1: Greenlight

Different sign. Same energy.

Walk in. Looks normal. Shelves are full. Menu long. Prices… ambitious. Crack open the jar later and, oh hell yeah, that familiar aroma of “I’ve smelled this before and didn’t like it then either.”

Same strains. Same look. Same dry, beige disappointment. It’s like meeting someone new who immediately calls you by your childhood nickname. You know something’s wrong.

Stop #2: Codes

Surely this will be different. Right?

Wrong. Same weed. Different font.

The tiers were adorable though:

• Premium (mid)

• Reserve (mid that went to college)

• Top Shelf (mid in a nicer jar)

Every option whispering the same message:

“I was harvested during the Obama administration.”

Stop #3: 3Fifteen

At this point we’re suspicious, but hopeful. Different names. Different branding. Different… repackaging of the exact same mids.

No matter what we picked, we ended up with:

• a strain that peaked in 2020

• a harvest date that required archaeology tools

• and a wallet that felt like it just got hustled behind a gas station

The Realization (a.k.a. the Twilight Zone Moment)

Somewhere between dispensary #3 and the parking lot, it hit us:

This isn’t retail. This is a magic trick.

Buy a beloved local shop. Keep the name. Slowly replace everything customers loved with Good Day Farm weed until the shelves look like a single-brand Costco run by accountants.

Different stores. Different logos.

Same mids. Every. Single. Time.

It’s like walking through doors labeled Greenlight, Codes, and 3Fifteen, but they all open into the same beige room where the weed has no soul and the terps filed for unemployment.

Tiered Pricing, Untiered Weed

This is the real artistry: They don’t just sell mids. They sell the same mids at multiple price points.

You think you’re upgrading. You’re not. You’re just paying extra to feel respected.

No matter what tier you choose, you leave with:

• weed that crumbles like feta cheese

• flavor notes described as “green”

and the creeping realization that brand acquisition has replaced quality control

FINAL NOTE FROM THE FIELD

This isn’t growth. This isn't a strategy.

This is assuming customers won’t notice when:

• their favorite brands disappear

• the weed starts tasting the same everywhere

• and every road somehow leads back to Good Day Farm

You can rename the stores. You can reshuffle the SKUs. You can slap a “premium” sticker on last year’s disappointment. But eventually, people figure it out.

And when they do, it’s not called brand loyalty. It’s called getting scammed with a smile.

— Boof du Jour, reporting live from the midverse.