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The Full Boof
I Went to a Cannabis Hiring Fair and Somehow Ended Up Regional Manager
Filed from California, where dreams go to get turned into vape carts and lawsuits LOS ANGELES — It’s 10:13 AM and I’m already sweating...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Delta Extraction Quietly Builds Underground Tunnel to Streamline Cannabis Supply Chain
Have You Seen Our Tunnel? It’s Literally Cooler Down There. Like, Temperature-Wise. SOMEWHERE BELOW MISSOURI — I’ve been crawling...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Vans Warped Tour Returns, Fully Funded by Delta-8 Brands Looking to Get Kids Absolutely Ripped
Filed from the frontlines of America’s loudest minor felony — where pop-punk met THC-O and nobody passed the drug test. SAN BERNARDINO,...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Terpli AI Virtual Budtender Has Existential Crisis After 4,000th Customer Asks for 'Your Highest THC, Bro'
“We're updating the model to just recommend GMO and say, ‘Hell yeah, bro.’ It's what the people want.” t’s 3:12 PM and I’m crammed into...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Struggling Dispensaries Now Using OnlyFans to Boost Customer Loyalty Signups
You’d be shocked how many dudes will give us their email just to see my terp pearls bounce. HEMET, CALIFORNIA — I’m writing this from the...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Proper Cannabis Launches Valentine’s Delivery Service to Ensure Everyone Inserts Their Suppository the ‘Proper’ Way
Filed From the Frontlines of Rectal Wellness I don’t know how the fuck I got here, but I’m kneeling on a velvet cushion in the middle of...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Hall of Flowers Doubles Down on Abusers: After Chris Brown Backlash - P. Diddy Tapped as Guest Speaker
This is Hall of Flowers 2025, where cannabis culture has officially OD’d on itself. SANTA ROSA, CA — I’m typing this with my back...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Seth Yakatan Is a Time-Traveler Who Cheated at Cannabis History (And Honestly, That Checks Out)
He didn’t cheat the game — he just played it a few centuries early. SEATTLE, WA — Seth Yakatan didn’t rise through the cannabis ranks—he...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
THE PESCADERO PAYCHECK MASSACRE
They Promised Me Overtime, I Got Rat Shit and a Tent. PESCADERO, CA — I arrived on foot, hungover and underprepared, to what local...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
I Tested My Weed in Five States and It Came Back as a Sleep Aid, a Stimulant, and a State Park
This Eighth Failed More Tests Than I Did in High School By Boof du Jour Field Correspondent, Reporting Live from the Backseat of a Hertz...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Mike Waltz Leaves National Security Post for Short-Lived Role at Ember Valley
Reportedly Resigned Before First Meeting After Leaking Falsified Lab Results SANTA ROSA, CA — If you ever wondered what would happen if...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
YEEat Pray Love: Kanye Launches Penis-Shaped Edibles Modeled After His Cousin—Says It’s About “Generational Healing”
A velvet-draped launch party for genetically questionable edibles shaped like a family secret—and marketed like gospel. WEST HOLLYWOOD,...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
We Sat Down with Beard Bros and Accidentally Joined a Cult
We Didn’t Find Enlightenment—It Found Us, Lit, and Dabbed on a Flat Rock JOSHUA TREE, CA — What started as a casual podcast interview...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
BLOOM RECALL ZONE — Vape Oil, MCT, and a Whole Lotta Regret in Michigan
Turns Out “Live” Resin Doesn’t Mean You’ll Stay That Way GRAND RAPIDS, MI — The smell out here is a mix of fear, expired distillate, and...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
We Infiltrated a Doja Exclusive Drop and It Was Like Burning Man for Clout Chasers
No signage. No pricing. Just 8ths in designer jars and a crowd that looked like Hypebeast got jumped by the 710 Labs fan club. LOS...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
A BRUTAL, HONEST MAP OF WEED LAWS IN AMERICA
Where your blunt is a right, and a reason for a strip search Welcome to the United States of Amnesia, where cannabis laws change faster...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
“God, Guns, and Delta-8” — Tennessee Lawmakers Still Think Weed Is a Gateway to Hell
Inside the God-fearing, vape-slinging backwoods logic keeping weed illegal in 2025 NASHVILLE, TN — I am broadcasting live from the...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Sweet Leaf Relaunches With a Wellness Fair and a Vape Sponsor—What Could Go Wrong?
Inside Sweet Leaf’s desperate comeback tour—featuring bad dabs, fake reiki, and the same energy that got them raided the first time....
Jun 18, 20253 min read
“Weed for Warriors” Charity Game Canceled After Both Teams Forfeit Due to Lack of Veterans, Planning, or Basic Interest
Live from the most embarrassing Memorial Day cannabis event in the country ST. CHARLES, MO — It’s Memorial Day, and I’m standing in a...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
“Daddy’s Lunchables Just Hit Different”
Child Trips Balls on Cartoon Bear Candy While Parents Play the Dumb Card I’m crouched next to a Sheriff-branded SUV outside a modest...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
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