The Full Boof

In a stunning display of government competence (don’t get used to it), New Jersey authorities shut down a network of illegal weed vending machines this week, not because they were unsafe, but because they were making licensed dispensaries look like the DMV with mood lighting.

The Invitations No One Wanted to Receive No one admits how nervous they were when the invites went out. They’ll joke about it now. Post about it. Laugh it off in Slack threads and group chats. But when those envelopes first landed, no return address, no branding, just a matte black card that read “You’ve been nominated. Attendance strongly recommended.”, people checked the categories twice. Some checked with legal. Others checked their last three product launches.

There are a lot of ways to mess up cannabis. You can overprice it. You can under-trim it. You can package it like it’s trying to win a minimalist design award in 2016. But allegedly shipping THC that doesn’t match the label, plus mold, plus E. coli? That’s not a mistake. That’s a full-blown operational philosophy.

There are bad business decisions. There are dumb business decisions. And then there’s whatever the hell Tilray Brands allegedly thought it was doing here. Because according to a fresh lawsuit, the Bob Marley Estate is coming for roughly $11 million in unpaid royalties. Not in a friendly “let’s sort this out” way. More like a direct hit. Let’s be clear about something. This isn’t just any licensing deal. This is Bob fucking Marley.

Urban-gro just pulled off one of the most impressive magic tricks in modern cannabis: They made their problems disappear by making the entire business disappear.

This shit has gone on way too fucking long in cannabis already, but unfortunately somewhere in America right now a cannabis “marketing team” is pitching what they believe is the boldest brand name ever conceived.

Legal cannabis dispensaries across the country are once again pointing fingers at nearby smoke shops and hemp retailers selling THCA flower, insisting the unregulated market is the primary reason their stores are underperforming, customers are leaving, and vibes are “challenging right now.”

Fabuloso has officially entered the weed business. The reason? Market research. Specifically: every dispensary already smells like it. After decades of accidentally becoming the unofficial fragrance sponsor of retail cannabis, Fabuloso executives reportedly realized they weren’t entering a new industry, they were simply acknowledging one they already dominated aromatically.

According to sources who “definitely signed NDAs but are emotionally free,” Pax has been testing a new firmware update that uses behavioral analysis to determine whether you deserve to get high. If the device senses you might be a weed person, it simply… won't hit.

This week, Winston Light announced a partnership with STIIIZY, the vape giant best known for selling millions of sleek pods to people who definitely say things like “nah I don’t really smoke flower.” The goal? Reinvigorate a brand that peaked when ashtrays were furniture and doctors were sponsored by tobacco companies.

By the time the CEO finishes saying “legacy” for the fourth time, you already know how this story ends. Not with community. Not with respect. With HR cc’d and the people who actually built this industry quietly escorted out the back door. Welcome to modern cannabis: where ownership speaks in hushed, reverent tones about where the plant came from while actively purging anyone who looks like they might’ve met it personally.

In a landmark transaction that will fundamentally change nothing except the font on the bag, Wyld has officially acquired Grön, creating the cannabis industry’s first fully interchangeable gummy ecosystem. The press release calls it “a major industry transaction. ”Budtenders call it “the moment my job officially became improv theater.”

By Boof du Jour - The Only Publication Josh Can’t Roll Up and Smoke The resurrection of High Times was supposed to be wholesome. A comeback story. A phoenix rising from 30 years of unpaid invoices and whatever that Reg A scam fever dream was supposed to be. Instead, the once-iconic brand has reportedly devolved into a workplace so unstable it makes Vice look like a Fortune 500 development camp. Sources inside the RAW-powered High Times reboot describe an atmosphere best su

Boof du Jour hosted a “vendor networking event.” The twist? It was a fight club for unpaid invoices. Cookies, 710 Labs, WYLD, and Trulieve faced their vendors in the ring for the first-ever Net-30 Invitational.

Curio Wellness, Maryland’s corporate mindfulness brand, just bought Missouri’s loudest weed shops and is repainting the trap-house vibe into taupe. Boof du Jour covers the culture clash between real weed people and the PowerPoint prophets trying to fix what wasn’t broken.

Eaze was once the “Uber of weed.” After bankruptcy and a fire sale, the brand has reappeared in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury. But the comeback feels less like a rebirth and more like a hospice wing for a unicorn that investors already buried.

Ayr Wellness has shuttered its Manchester, CT cannabis drive-thru after reporting $134M in 2024 losses. Patients lost a key access point, while investors got stuck with another MSO “innovation” turned corporate foreclosure.

Massachusetts just certified a ballot petition to nuke its $1.6B adult-use cannabis industry. If it makes the ballot, every dispensary, cultivator, and brand in the state could be gone overnight. Welcome to the dumbest economic experiment since prohibition.