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The Full Boof
“Daddy’s Lunchables Just Hit Different”
Child Trips Balls on Cartoon Bear Candy While Parents Play the Dumb Card I’m crouched next to a Sheriff-branded SUV outside a modest...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Congress Considers Letting Drug Policy Be Based on Reality for the First Time Since Nixon Took a Shit in the Oval Office
Bill Could End Longstanding Government Tradition of Making Shit Up About Weed WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a development that sent shockwaves...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
New York Cannabis Supply Chain Achieves Full Enlightenment Through Total Lack of Oversight
With no rules, no accountability, and absolutely no one watching the wheel, New York’s weed supply chain has entered its final form: pure...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
State Awards Compliance Testing License to Lab Currently Being Sued for Faking Compliance Testing
Test Results May Vary—But Only Upward. HARTFORD, CT — In an inspiring display of blind optimism and spreadsheet-based licensing, the...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
Missouri's Annual DHSS Administrative Hold: A Beloved Industry Tradition
It’s not summer in Missouri until the admin hold hits and your whole supply chain gets ghosted by the state. Jefferson City, MO — As the...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
State Revokes Dispensary License After Learning Owner Thought ‘Compliance’ Was a Strain
After months of suspicious behavior and zero recordkeeping, regulators finally acted—moments after overhearing the owner ask if...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
POLICY MALPRACTICE: INSIDE ARIZONA’S MOLDY WEED SCANDAL AND THE STATE AGENCY THAT JUST WATCHED
By Boof du Jour’s Investigative Desk (and black mold sample unit) Arizona’s cannabis testing system is broken. Not bureaucratic. Not...
Jun 12, 20253 min read
AUSTRALIA'S CANNABIS TELEHEALTH CIRCUS: Inside the Startup That Gave 12,000 People Weed—With Less Oversight Than a Toaster Warranty
By Boof du Jour Global Field Team SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA — In a country where you still can’t legally buy a fucking vape with nicotine, a...
May 23, 20253 min read
SPOILED FLOWER & CORPORATE FUNGUS: CURALEAF’S LATEST MEDICAL WEED RECALL SMELLS EXACTLY HOW IT SHOULD
By Boof du Jour Investigative Team Filed from Connecticut, where even the medical weed now comes with an expiration date and a wellness...
May 14, 20253 min read
THE PERKINELMER PIPE DREAM: Inside the $300 Million Clusterfuck That Made Labs Lie and Investors Cry
By Boof du Jour Investigations May 2025 – This article was fact-checked by no one because the truth is already worse than fiction. When...
May 5, 20254 min read
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