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The Full Boof
AN ANCESTRY.COM SPINOFF JUST PROVED YOUR WEED ISN’T SPECIAL
Canncestry.com™, the cannabis DNA test from Ancestry.com, just confirmed your $65 eighth is the same Blue Dream you smoked in 2012. Turns out genetic transparency isn’t good for business.
Aug 21, 20253 min read
The Cannabis Testing Lab Cartel — Who's Profiting Off Your Poison
Cannabis labs across the U.S. are inflating THC, hiding mold, and dodging regulators. Meanwhile, brands and MSOs play along to chase profits. We break down the financial rot—lab by lab, state by state.
Aug 7, 20252 min read
I Tracked Down a JuicyFields Scammer. He’s Still Rich.
One JuicyFields scammer is still free, still rich, and still pitching bullshit from an Airbnb in Spain. We found him. He rolled a blunt. We rolled tape.
Aug 1, 20253 min read
The Yearly Weed Divorce Clause: Congress Extends Cannabis Protections Like a Bad Ex Who Won’t Move Out
Another fiscal year, another bullshit promise. Congress extends cannabis protections again—without real reform, without commitment, and without shame. Welcome to the Yearly Weed Divorce Clause.
Jul 30, 20253 min read
THREE SHOPS, ONE DEALER, AND THE GREAT HEMP SHOP DELUSION
We visited three Connecticut weed shops—one legal, one sketchy, one pretending to sell hemp—and met the same dealer at every single one. Welcome to the John Paul multiverse.
Jul 21, 20254 min read
BOOF DU JOUR TESTS CBD AS A BINGE DRINKING CURE — Woke Up Crossfaded, Broke and Still Drunk
Inside our completely unscientific investigation into the “CBD prevents binge drinking” claim — featuring bad ideas, worse execution, and...
Jul 8, 20252 min read
Cannabis Industry Sees Banking Reform as Glimmer of Hope, Mistakes It for Profitability
Boofonomics Special Report – “Cash Poor, Hope High” Edition The cannabis industry is absolutely losing its fucking mind over the latest...
Jul 7, 20254 min read
Insuring A Cannabis Company in 2025 Now Costs More Than Starting One
Underwritten by panic, tailored by fear, and sold by brokers who treat you like Mafia collateral. Cannabis operators across the U.S. are...
Jul 3, 20253 min read
Hemp Goes to Court: The 8th Circuit Hands the Market Back to Cops, Lawsuits, and Confused Retailers
“The only certainty in hemp is that your business plan is about to get fucked.” Market Shock: 8th Circuit Delivers Legal Whiplash to Hemp...
Jul 2, 20253 min read
MISSOURI PROPOSES THC CAP TO PROTECT SUBURBAN PARENTS FROM THEMSELVES
State regulators unveil bold new strategy to make legal weed just shitty enough to lose to the plug again. Welcome to “safety.” FOR...
Jul 1, 20253 min read
Hemp is Over: Congress Accidentally Votes to Ban Half the Industry While Thinking About Their Grandkids
In a bold pivot toward nostalgia, the House aims to kill hemp-derived THC nationwide—protecting children, consolidating power, and once...
Jun 24, 20254 min read
MASSACHUSETTS JUST DEREGULATED CANNABIS BY CALLING IT “EQUITY”
The CCC is dead. The MSOs are thrilled. And Beacon Hill just legalized corporate fuckery in broad daylight. BOSTON — In a state where...
Jun 23, 20254 min read
We Sent a Ganjier to a Trap House: Here’s What Happened
Filed in a haze by your disoriented correspondent, live from somewhere between certified and certified fucked. ST. LOUIS — 10:43 P.M.,...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
How to Drive Away a Non-Stoner Partner Without Saying a Word
Because your passive-aggressive ass can’t just dump them So you accidentally started dating someone who “doesn’t do weed.” And by...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
Vans Warped Tour Returns, Fully Funded by Delta-8 Brands Looking to Get Kids Absolutely Ripped
Filed from the frontlines of America’s loudest minor felony — where pop-punk met THC-O and nobody passed the drug test. SAN BERNARDINO,...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Proper Cannabis Launches Valentine’s Delivery Service to Ensure Everyone Inserts Their Suppository the ‘Proper’ Way
Filed From the Frontlines of Rectal Wellness I don’t know how the fuck I got here, but I’m kneeling on a velvet cushion in the middle of...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Hall of Flowers Doubles Down on Abusers: After Chris Brown Backlash - P. Diddy Tapped as Guest Speaker
This is Hall of Flowers 2025, where cannabis culture has officially OD’d on itself. SANTA ROSA, CA — I’m typing this with my back...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
Seth Yakatan Is a Time-Traveler Who Cheated at Cannabis History (And Honestly, That Checks Out)
He didn’t cheat the game — he just played it a few centuries early. SEATTLE, WA — Seth Yakatan didn’t rise through the cannabis ranks—he...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
YEEat Pray Love: Kanye Launches Penis-Shaped Edibles Modeled After His Cousin—Says It’s About “Generational Healing”
A velvet-draped launch party for genetically questionable edibles shaped like a family secret—and marketed like gospel. WEST HOLLYWOOD,...
Jun 18, 20253 min read
We Sat Down with Beard Bros and Accidentally Joined a Cult
We Didn’t Find Enlightenment—It Found Us, Lit, and Dabbed on a Flat Rock JOSHUA TREE, CA — What started as a casual podcast interview...
Jun 18, 20252 min read
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