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Slick ads, big promises, and the brutal disappointment of the actual product experience. The gap between what’s said and what’s smoked.
Hype vs. Reality


The Chris Peterson Invitational: Muha Meds’ Big, Beautiful, Stupid Alibi
A Michigan dispensary got caught giving away nearly 2,000 grams of concentrate under a fake name — so in a last-ditch PR stunt straight out of a fever dream, they hosted a statewide gathering of every real Chris Peterson they could find. It didn’t prove innocence, but it did prove how far the cannabis industry will go to avoid admitting it screwed up.
4 min read


Hemp’s Last Stand: Congress Accidentally Nukes a Whole Industry Because They Don’t Know What the Hell a Cannabinoid Is
Congress didn’t tighten hemp rules — they accidentally carpet-bombed the entire industry. With one sloppy amendment, they killed Delta-8, THCA, minor cannabinoids, and most CBD products. Boof du Jour breaks down the federal panic attack that turned hemp into contraband overnight.
4 min read


Vendor Fight Club: The Networking Mixer From Hell
Boof du Jour hosted a “vendor networking event.” The twist? It was a fight club for unpaid invoices. Cookies, 710 Labs, WYLD, and Trulieve faced their vendors in the ring for the first-ever Net-30 Invitational.
4 min read


Cop Math: How 132 Gummies Turn Into “Almost a Kilo” — and Maybe a Death Sentence
132 cannabis gummies. $400 in value. 869 grams on the police scale. A U.S. basketball player in Jakarta now faces life or death because of “Cop Math” — the global farce where a box of candy weighs more than human rights.
5 min read


BudSpace™: Now You Too Can Pay Rent to Pretend You Still Work in Weed
Michigan cannabis workers can now pay rent to pretend they still work in weed. Introducing BudSpace: Wi-Fi, exposed brick, no job. Just vibes.
3 min read


AN ANCESTRY.COM SPINOFF JUST PROVED YOUR WEED ISN’T SPECIAL
Canncestry.com™, the cannabis DNA test from Ancestry.com, just confirmed your $65 eighth is the same Blue Dream you smoked in 2012. Turns out genetic transparency isn’t good for business.
3 min read


The Cannabis Testing Lab Cartel — Who's Profiting Off Your Poison
Cannabis labs across the U.S. are inflating THC, hiding mold, and dodging regulators. Meanwhile, brands and MSOs play along to chase profits. We break down the financial rot—lab by lab, state by state.
2 min read


I Tracked Down a JuicyFields Scammer. He’s Still Rich.
One JuicyFields scammer is still free, still rich, and still pitching bullshit from an Airbnb in Spain. We found him. He rolled a blunt. We rolled tape.
3 min read


The Yearly Weed Divorce Clause: Congress Extends Cannabis Protections Like a Bad Ex Who Won’t Move Out
Another fiscal year, another bullshit promise. Congress extends cannabis protections again—without real reform, without commitment, and without shame. Welcome to the Yearly Weed Divorce Clause.
3 min read


THREE SHOPS, ONE DEALER, AND THE GREAT HEMP SHOP DELUSION
We visited three Connecticut weed shops—one legal, one sketchy, one pretending to sell hemp—and met the same dealer at every single one. Welcome to the John Paul multiverse.
4 min read


TULSA TAINTS UNVEILED AS AMERICA’S FIRST CANNABIS-SPONSORED PRO TEAM
Columbia Care just sponsored the Tulsa Taints—the first pro team backed by a weed brand. It went exactly how you’d expect: poorly, publicly, and soaked in expired marketing buzzwords.
3 min read


BOOF DU JOUR TESTS CBD AS A BINGE DRINKING CURE — Woke Up Crossfaded, Broke and Still Drunk
Inside our completely unscientific investigation into the “CBD prevents binge drinking” claim — featuring bad ideas, worse execution, and...
2 min read


Cannabis Industry Sees Banking Reform as Glimmer of Hope, Mistakes It for Profitability
Boofonomics Special Report – “Cash Poor, Hope High” Edition The cannabis industry is absolutely losing its fucking mind over the latest...
4 min read


Insuring A Cannabis Company in 2025 Now Costs More Than Starting One
Underwritten by panic, tailored by fear, and sold by brokers who treat you like Mafia collateral. Cannabis operators across the U.S. are...
3 min read


Hemp Goes to Court: The 8th Circuit Hands the Market Back to Cops, Lawsuits, and Confused Retailers
“The only certainty in hemp is that your business plan is about to get fucked.” Market Shock: 8th Circuit Delivers Legal Whiplash to Hemp...
3 min read


MISSOURI PROPOSES THC CAP TO PROTECT SUBURBAN PARENTS FROM THEMSELVES
State regulators unveil bold new strategy to make legal weed just shitty enough to lose to the plug again. Welcome to “safety.” FOR...
3 min read


Hemp is Over: Congress Accidentally Votes to Ban Half the Industry While Thinking About Their Grandkids
In a bold pivot toward nostalgia, the House aims to kill hemp-derived THC nationwide—protecting children, consolidating power, and once...
4 min read


MASSACHUSETTS JUST DEREGULATED CANNABIS BY CALLING IT “EQUITY”
The CCC is dead. The MSOs are thrilled. And Beacon Hill just legalized corporate fuckery in broad daylight. BOSTON — In a state where...
4 min read


We Sent a Ganjier to a Trap House: Here’s What Happened
Filed in a haze by your disoriented correspondent, live from somewhere between certified and certified fucked. ST. LOUIS — 10:43 P.M.,...
3 min read


How to Drive Away a Non-Stoner Partner Without Saying a Word
Because your passive-aggressive ass can’t just dump them So you accidentally started dating someone who “doesn’t do weed.” And by...
2 min read


Vans Warped Tour Returns, Fully Funded by Delta-8 Brands Looking to Get Kids Absolutely Ripped
Filed from the frontlines of America’s loudest minor felony — where pop-punk met THC-O and nobody passed the drug test. SAN BERNARDINO,...
3 min read


Proper Cannabis Launches Valentine’s Delivery Service to Ensure Everyone Inserts Their Suppository the ‘Proper’ Way
Filed From the Frontlines of Rectal Wellness I don’t know how the fuck I got here, but I’m kneeling on a velvet cushion in the middle of...
3 min read


Hall of Flowers Doubles Down on Abusers: After Chris Brown Backlash - P. Diddy Tapped as Guest Speaker
This is Hall of Flowers 2025, where cannabis culture has officially OD’d on itself. SANTA ROSA, CA — I’m typing this with my back...
3 min read


Seth Yakatan Is a Time-Traveler Who Cheated at Cannabis History (And Honestly, That Checks Out)
He didn’t cheat the game — he just played it a few centuries early. SEATTLE, WA — Seth Yakatan didn’t rise through the cannabis ranks—he...
3 min read


YEEat Pray Love: Kanye Launches Penis-Shaped Edibles Modeled After His Cousin—Says It’s About “Generational Healing”
A velvet-draped launch party for genetically questionable edibles shaped like a family secret—and marketed like gospel. WEST HOLLYWOOD,...
3 min read


We Sat Down with Beard Bros and Accidentally Joined a Cult
We Didn’t Find Enlightenment—It Found Us, Lit, and Dabbed on a Flat Rock JOSHUA TREE, CA — What started as a casual podcast interview...
2 min read


New York Weedbros in Mourning as Prices Finally Reflect Reality
Wall Street delusion meets bodega weed reality as New York cannabis bros finally discover what supply and demand actually means. MARKET...
3 min read


Haribo’s High Stakes Recall: Analysts Divided Between “Contaminated Supply Chain” and “Perfect Product Launch”
Investors stunned as Germany’s most trusted candy accidentally outperforms half the cannabis industry by simply fucking up a batch of...
2 min read


The Mid-Financed Mirage of 818 Brands
Inside the recycled grift of 818 Brands, where failed LED startups and mid-tier flower get repackaged as a premium lifestyle cult for the...
3 min read


RSO: The Most Overpriced Commodity in Cannabis Nobody Wants to Talk About
Margins Are Sky-High. Patients Are Broke. And the Market Calls It “Progress.” By Boof du Jour Market Intelligence Cannabis Industry...
2 min read


Analysts Say Investing in Live Rosin Safer Than 401(k)
With markets in freefall and retirement accounts turning to mulch, experts now recommend dumping your savings into solventless extracts...
2 min read


Cookies Releases New $200 Hoodie That Comes With Free Eighth of Mids
Compiled while staring at a Cookies receipt and questioning everything Boofonomics Market Brief: Brand Hype, Retail Theft, and Berner’s...
3 min read


“Turn in Your Dealer” and Save 10%: Housing Works Launches Bold New Program to Trap Stoners With Receipts and Reward Snitching With Store Credit
Rewarding snitching with store credit—brought to you by people who’ve never been to a sesh. NEW YORK, NY — In an inspired moment of...
2 min read


Illinois Hosts Inaugural Cannabis Transport Equity Games — Winner Gets Token License and $5 Gas Card
Touted as a “celebration of opportunity,” the event featured twelve grueling events, zero follow-up support, and one lucky applicant...
3 min read


Puffcon 2025 Has Evolved Into a Giant Customer Support Center With Live DJs
If you've never seen a man openly weep while cradling a dab rig in 90-degree heat, you’ve never been to Puffcon 2025. What was once billed as a futuristic stoner utopia has now fully transitioned into a glorified vape exchange pop-up — part tech support summit, part Burning Man for broken electronics, and entirely unhinged.
3 min read


THC Seltzer Hype Exposed: Thousands of iPhones Found in Cartel-Run LinkedIn Pharming Operation
By the Boof du Jour Investigative Team BROOKLYN — In what authorities are calling “the dumbest fucking scandal to ever involve...
5 min read


Monopoly Melts Promises to Bridge the Legacy Market — By Keeping One Foot Firmly in the Black Market
By the Boof du Jour Investigative Team LOS ANGELES — In a stunning display of self-awareness wrapped in pure fucking delusion, California...
5 min read
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